Tum Mile Review

Film: "Tum Mile"; Cast: Soha Ali Khan, Emraan Hashmi; Director; Kunal Deshmukh; Rating: * 1/2

The Mahesh Bhatt formula of live-in relationships, splintered alliances, disastrous adventures in the big bad city and corruption in hyped places, has completely run out of steam with "Tum Mile".

A pointless saga of two soggy souls caught in Mumbai's rains who know one another long enough to know they are incompatible.

"Arth" with no worth.

"Tum Mile" is a long, pointless and rambling look at a ruptured relationship between a working woman and a not-so-successful self-styled artiste who is ceaselessly sullen about god knows what.

If we go back to the Bhatts' last celluloid sojourn "Jashnn", the struggling musician-hero in that film was no different from the grappling artiste in "Tum Mile". They both hate the world for being more successful than they.

Emraan Hashmi attempts to infuse his trite and jaded character with a fair amount of conviction. And Soha Ali Khan, playing his trying-hard-to-cope live-in mate, comes out with a few moments which transcend the banal script. The script is too bad and direction betrays an utter lack of newness and synergy in exposing the underbelly of a contemporary relationship crumbling under competitive pressures.

Incidentally, Soha lives alone in a sprawling mansion in Cape Town just waiting for the loser-hero to move in. Her father drops in once a month. Where is he the rest of the time? Probably researching on how to be a tycoon with a daughter who shouldn't be left alone.

Director Kunal Deshmukh's earlier film "Jannat" traversed the same man-woman territory with far more sensitivity. The screenplay in "Tum Mile" allows the director little room to navigate his imagination in and outside and the marital domain.

The whole blend of climatic and marital disaster falls apart very quickly. The much-hyped scenes replicating Mumbai's monsoonal deluge of July 26, 2005 are clumsily conceived and executed with cardboard characters carrying out their soggy karma in a watered-down waste-land.

The waist-deep drama just about sinks to a no-redemption level in a sequence where the director copies a whole sequence from James Cameron's "Titanic" with a rush of lethal water chasing the couple in a water-tight room.

It's not just Soha and Emraan who get claustrophobic. The feeling of being trapped in a no-win situation never leaves the audience. Most of the time the narrative plods along without energy or drive.

One sincerely hopes Mahesh Bhatt was just going through a bad-hair day while putting together this whiny tale of two people who deserve only one another.

They are so dreadfully boring from the outside. One hopes they find one another slightly more inspiring.

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Kurbaan Movie Review

Post 9/11, there's anger, distrust, suspicion, uneasiness all around. Not a day passes when you don't hear of terrorists killing civilians in the name of religion.

Many storytellers have, in the past, narrated stories about terrorists and their nefarious and despicable plans. But let me state one thing categorically. You haven't watched a more profound, a more thought-provoking, a more dramatic story on this subject before KURBAAN. It's not just the most powerful film to come out of Dharma Productions, it's the most powerful film to come out of the Hindi film industry this year, thus far.

KURBAAN tries to penetrate into the psyche of not just the terrorist, but also someone who has been a helpless spectator all this while. This film is sure to spark off discussions and debates, although it must also be noted that it doesn't take sides or gets preachy.

Rensil D'Silva has chosen a burning issue for his directorial debut, which is a complete departure from Karan Johar's earlier films. For some inexplicable reasons, parallels are being drawn with FANAA [Aamir Khan, Kajol] and NEW YORK [John Abraham, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Katrina Kaif], but the fact remains that barring the backdrop of terrorism, there's no similarity with those films.

I've often felt that certain films are beyond box-office. Movies are not meant to merely entertain, but enlighten and educate as well. They need to prick your conscience and in the process, make an attempt to make this world a better place. KURBAAN does just that and for this very reason, it deserves a double thumbs up.

Final word? Drop everything else you're doing to watch KURBAAN. Movies like these need to be made, encouraged and lauded.

Avantika [Kareena Kapoor] is a teacher at a university in Delhi. She has come back from New York where she teaches, because her father [Aakash Khurana] has suffered a heart attack. During this period, she meets a Professor called Ehsaan Khan [Saif Ali Khan]. Soon, they begin seeing each other and love blossoms.

A few months later, Avantika receives a call from her university in New York, asking her to come back. Avantika breaks the news to Ehsaan. He, in turn, tells her he doesn't mind coming to the States with her. But first they need to get married.

Soon after the marriage, they leave to start a new life in New York. They buy a house in an Indian neighbourhood and move in. Just as they are setting up home, their conservative Muslim neighbours invite them over for dinner. The next morning, Salma [Nauheed Cyrusi], one of the women Avantika met the night before at the dinner, visits her under the pretext of gifting her sweets.

When Avantika invites her in, Salma tells her that she is in grave danger. Nothing is what it seems. Salma pleads with Avantika to help her. What follows next is a series of incidents that sucks Avantika into a vortex of danger and intrigue. As her life spirals out of control, Avantika realizes that she is a pawn in a huge game.

KURBAAN has two stories running concurrently - the love story between Saif and Kareena and the story of Islamic terrorists. Rensil sets the stage in the initial 15 minutes itself, after which there's a twist in the tale every 15-20 minutes, which catches you completely unaware. Rensil doesn't borrow from the past, which makes the proceedings thoroughly captivating.

The highpoint is the 35-minute climax, which leaves you spellbound. The culmination to the story shakes you completely, largely because it's pragmatic and has been executed most logically as well. In fact, filming the climax at the various underground tube stations must've been the toughest challenge for the director.

On the flip side, KURBAAN caters more to the intelligentsia or the thinking viewer and might not be lapped up whole-heartedly by those who survive on the staple diet of hardcore masala fares.

Some of the finest technicians in the business are associated with KURBAAN. Hemant Chaturvedi's cinematography is super. The film bears an international look all through. Salim-Sulaiman's music is well integrated in the narrative. At least two tracks merit a mention - 'Shukran Allah' and 'Ali Maula'. Anurag Kashyap and Niranjan Iyengar's dialogue are superb. The lines enhance the impact of several sequences. Thrills are, again, in sync with the mood of the film.

KURBAAN is embellished with superlative performances. Saif is extra-ordinary in a role that only proves his versatility once again. If he won your heart with a winning performance in LOVE AAJ KAL a few months ago, you need to watch this supremely talented actor underplay his part so beautifully in KURBAAN. As for Kareena, KURBAAN reiterates one fact yet again: She's the best in the business. No two opinions on that! Watch her get those emotional sequences right, it's incredible. Here's a performance that truly merits the highest praise and admiration, besides fetching her awards and accolades.

Vivek Oberoi is fantastic. Matching Saif and Kareena at every step, KURBAAN should be the turning point in Vivek's career. It's a difficult role to portray and only an actor with a wide range could've portrayed this part so effectively. Om Puri is top notch and so is Kirron Kher. Kirron is marvellous, especially in the penultimate scene. Dia Mirza, Nauheed Cyrusi and Kulbhushan Kharbanda lend credibility to their brief roles.

On the whole, KURBAAN is the most powerful film to come out of the Hindi film industry in 2009, so far. The film has a captivating plot, gripping screenplay, super performances and a climax that shakes you up completely. Watching this movie should be on top of your agenda this week.

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Couples Retreat Movie Review

Cast and Crew
Director : Peter Billingsley
Producer : Scott Stuber, Vince Vaughn
Screenwiter : Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Dana Fox
Starring : Vince Vaughn,Jon Favreau,Jason Bateman,Faizon Love,Malin Akerman,Kristin Davis,Kristen Bell,Kali Hawk,Jean Reno,Peter Serafinowicz,John Michael Higgins,Ken Jeong

The script for this comedy is so half-baked that we begin to wonder why it was made at all. Not only is it resolutely unfunny, but it never dips beneath a superficial examination of relationship cliches.

Jason and Cynthia (Bateman and Bell) are a workaholic couple approaching their marriage as a business, so they propose to their friends a couple-building holiday in a tropical paradise. Dave and Ronnie (Vaughn and Akerman) need a break form their busy lives, Joey and Lucy (Favreau and Davis) hope to spend as much time holidaying apart as possible, and Shane (Love) brings along his new, young girlfriend (Walsh). Despite the spectacular location, it's not remotely what any of them expect, especially when love guru Marcel (Reno) starts his workshops.

There's a strong concept here, and the superior cast is capable of making something both funny and telling from it, but the script continually undercuts them with corny slapstick, unexciting capers and a resolutely shallow approach.
The plot is spread evenly among the four couples and their one-joke storylines, which leaves the film without a centre. And as it progresses, we soon realise that none of the plotlines are going to have a realistic outcome.

It's hard to see what drew such a strong cast to this project, besides the vacation in Bora Bora with pals Vaughn and Favreau (this is a long slide from their 1996 break-out in the too-cool Swingers). With roles reduced to mere stereotypes, there's nothing much the actors can do, although they do drum up some amusing chemistry. The supporting cast are left to steal whatever scenes they can, most notably Reno and Serafinowicz (as the resort's stern host).

Besides a few zinging one-liners, this is just a bland marital drama with gorgeous scenery and awkward physical comedy. It's certainly not the hilarious comedy the cast and crew seem to have thought they were making. This is shown in the way it constantly gets distracted by illogical, irrelevant set-pieces (the shark attack, the Guitar Hero challenge) and then has the nerve to get preachy about relationship issues. Bu the end, the only thing we take from the cinema is a craving for a Mai-Tai.

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Triangle Movie Review

Cast and Crew
Director : Christopher Smith
Producer : Julie Baines, Chris Brown, Jason Newmark
Screenwiter : Christopher Smith
Starring : Melissa George,Michael Dorman,Rachael Carpani,Liam Hemsworth,Henry Nixon,Emma Lung,Joshua Taylor,Bryan Probets,Jack Taylor

British filmmaker Smith (Severance) comes up with an effectively disorienting premise that consistently keeps us both unsettled and unsure what might happen next. It may be a bit vague for some viewers, but others will love it.

Jess (George) is clearly having a bad morning when she joins her friend Greg (Dorman) for a day trip on his gorgeous sailboat with his friends Sally and Downey (Carpani and Nixon), their friend Heather (Lung) and Greg's shipmate Victor (Hemsworth). After a sudden freak storm, they are rescued by an ocean liner that seems to be utterly empty. Except that they start dying one by one.
Sort of. And Jess is the only one who has an inkling that she may be able to stop the cycle of violence.

Smith effectively establishes the characters in the opening sequence with just enough detail to fill in their personalities so we can pick and choose who to identify with. From the start, Jess is the emotional eye of the storm, as she obsesses about her son (Joshua Taylor) back home and travels to some very dark places as the story progresses. Except that it doesn't so much progress as swirl and undulate. Deducing exactly what's happening here probably isn't possible, so it's best to just sit back and let the film take you for a ride.

And trips into the Bermuda Triangle don't get much more gruesomely entertaining than this. Despite its repetitive structure, the film is packed with moments that make us jump, usually because Smith has carefully orchestrated a shock that feels even more powerful because we know it's coming. And the psychological aspect of the premise gives us plenty to grapple with as well, while providing George with another frazzled scream-queen role.

Like a hellish version of Groundhog Day, the film's structure feels like a scratched record, skipping around in circles as it torments poor Jess with unthinkable horror that doesn't always make logical or emotional sense. Some scenes are seriously savage in their brutality, and the cumulative freak-out is both grim and unnerving. Even if Smith's loose approach doesn't answer every dangling question, it still gets to us. Which is something rare in horror movies at the moment.

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Thirst Movie Review

Cast and Crew
Director : Park Chan-wook
Producer : Park Chan-wook, Ahn Soo-Hyun
Screenwiter : Jeong Seo-Gyeong, Park Chan-wook
Starring : Song Kang-ho,Kim Ok-vin,Kim Hae-sook,Shin Ha-kyun,Mercedes Cabral,Park In-hwan,Oh Dal-su,Song Young-chang

Besides the vampires, this is an oddly faithful adaptation of Emile Zola's novel Therese Raquin. Filmmaker Park directs with his usual eye-catching skill and attention to gruesome detail, and creates a story with strong emotional resonance.

Priest Sang-hyeon (Song Kang-ho) voluntarily enters an African monastery to help research a deadly disease. But the mysterious illness leaves him craving human blood. He finds peaceful solutions to this, but things get complicated when he meets the sparky Tae-joo (Kim Ok-vin), who he's known since childhood in the orphanage. She's still living with her adoptive mother (Kim Hae-sook), and is now married to her adoptive brother Kang-woo (Shin). When they plot to kill Kang-woo so they can be together, this is only their first step across the line to inhumanity.

Park tells this story in a remarkably straightforward way, weaving in otherworldly elements with raw earthiness that allows for some cool, low-key effects and lots of dry humour. This keeps things relatively grounded in reality, as does an emotionally open performance by Song Kang-ho as a man who is horrified at his new inner yearnings and desperately tries to create a worldview that works for him. Around him, the characters are all too selfish or nutty for us to care about them.

This makes it impossible for us to invest in Sang-hyeon's relationship with Tae-joo. Kim Ok-vin's performance is lively and constantly surprising, but this simply isn't a character we can root for. She's far too dark and scary for that, while everyone else is either naive or self-involved. And the story turns seriously sordid, so it's a good thing that Sang-hyeon is such a complicated, likeable guy. Even his one act of sheer nastiness is almost understandable.

Yes, while this film is packed with terrific scenes and fascinating characters, the uneven tone makes it hard to engage with. The mood veers back and forth from quiet and thoughtful to gruesome and frantic. Along with the technical expertise, there are fascinating themes in here, most notably about two damaged people who are drawn to each other against their better judgement. And ultimately, it's the theme that contrasts martyrdom with suicide that sticks in the mind.

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Colin Movie Review

Vivid proof that filmmaking is more about creativity than money, this micro-budget British movie takes an inventive approach to the ubiquitous zombie genre. It's rough around the edges, but is surprisingly fresh and engaging.

Colin (Kirton) is horrified by the snarling gangs of undead prowling the streets of London. But he's also been bitten, so soon goes through a nasty transformation. After managing to get out of his flat, he can't resist the urge to bite anyone who's still alive. He's rescued from a gang of zombie-bashers by his sister (Aitkens), but when she's bitten too, Colin continues on a quest to find his girlfriend (Pammen) and perhaps some form of redemption.

Filmmaker Price claims he made this film for U45, which seems like an understatement since the buckets of fake blood and grisly make-up effects alone are surely worth more than that. But the point is that by using handheld cameras and a remarkably adept cast, he achieves something many big-budget movies can't: he keeps us completely gripped to the story as it develops. And this is mainly because we've never seen a zombie movie that depends on emotional engagement with someone like Colin.

In addition to Kirton's superb performance, Price uses clever camera angles, a textured sound mix (including lots of bone-crunching), subtle special effects and telling cutaways instead of dialog to propel us into the situation. And the streets are impressively packed with either zombies or zombie-fighters, including a news crew covering the story. We watch all of this from Colin's perspective, which puts us right into the situations and cleverly inverts classic zombie-movie cliches.

Each situation Colin stumbles into is inventively twisted by the point of view.
A crowd of ravenous undead in a small room is like a zombie rave, Colin's sister's attempt to help him feels like an intervention, being locked in a garden shed feels oddly elegiac, and an extended flashback gives Colin an emotional inner life. Even if some of the events are rather confusing and there's a bit too much shaky camera work, Price's persistent resourcefulness is a joy to watch, especially as he so effectively generates scenes of mass chaos and carnage without ever resorting to Hollywood-style overkill. As it were.

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Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant Movie Review

Based on the books by Darren Shan, this film is an introduction to a franchise, with the coloned title and preparatory storyline. It has a lively, engaging plot that keeps us engaged, even if it is yet another vampire romp.

Darren (Massoglia) is an A-student 16-year-old whose best pal Steve (Hutcherson) keeps getting him into trouble. When they hear about the underground Cirque du Freak, they can't resist a visit. There they meet ringmaster Mr Tall (Watanabe), bearded seer Truska (Hayek) a snake boy (Fugit), monkey girl (Carlson) and many more. But soon they're entangled with the show's star, vampire Crepsley (Reilly), and his mortal enemy Mr Tiny (Cerveris). And when Crepsley makes Darren a vampire, Steve gets so jealous that he joins the other side.

The plot's like a comical, teen-friendly version of True Blood, as the central conflict is between vampires who don't kill humans and the "vampirese" who do.
But instead dark and gothic, the filmmakers keep things light and often wacky.
Everyone cracks jokes, the violence isn't too grisly, and the characters and plot only get mildly shadowy. Although there is some serious subtext, mainly some bleak moments involving Steve's personal journey.

It of course helps that the cast is this colourful and talented. Reilly is marvellously tetchy as Crepsley, trying to teach the reluctant Darren the ropes while fending off Mr Tiny's scheme and resisting a romance with Truska. Hayek manages to create a bit more of a character than the cartoonish, cameo-style roles given to Dafoe, Krakowski, Fugit and others. And the teen trio are engaging and watchable, although only Hutcherson is required to show any real acting chops (which we already know he has).

As the big conflict boils over into a major showdown, the chain of events doesn't make very clear sense. Why does Mr Tiny bother with Darren when he already has Steve? Why do they play this sadistic game with hostages when previous scenes show them to be more ruthless than this? Less-demanding viewers won't care about these things, and it's likely that the next episode will deepen everything considerably. Sure, this light approach keeps it entertaining, but it also prevents it from being a classic.

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All The Best Reviews

Sometimes, we laugh at movies. At times, we laugh in movies. Thankfully, ALL THE BEST, helmed by Rohit Shetty, belongs to the latter type.

ALL THE BEST makes no claims of catering to the intelligentsia or the elite. Instead, it's aimed at those who want to spend two hours of their precious life flexing their facial muscles. ALL THE BEST is for those who expect fun and laughter unlimited in those two hours. This one makes you smile, laugh, even break into a guffaw at times
The jokes and the goings-on may appear silly, but who cares! As long as one feels positive and wears a smile on the face even after the show has ended, nothing else matters.

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A TIME FOR DRUNKEN HORSES REVIEWS

Director: Bahman Ghobadi
Cast: Ayoub Ahmadi, Rojin Younessi, Amaneh Ekhtiar-dini
Shemaroo World Cinema



Here’s a testament that movie making is not always about elaborate budgets, star actors and studio backing. You need not be part of Hollywood to make a film that can be appreciated by a wide audience. Filmmaker Bahman Ghobadi has managed to accomplish all that with a modest budget and crew. A Time For Drunken Horses is a sight to behold, as Iranian snow peaks create a sea of colourless void that accommodates some surreal human emotions.

A young Iranian kid Ayoub (Ayoub Ahmadi) loses his father to a mine on the Iran-Iraq border. He survives his father as the sole bread earner for his household which consists of three sisters and one terminally ill and physically handicapped brother. Kids no older than 13-years-old work chores and tasks like adults and earn a living. Ayoub has the added burden of earning enough money for his brother Madi’s operation.

The story touches you with its simplicity and array of emotional sequences. The film has been shot like a documentary, it doesn’t have any trained actors and yet it comes across at par with any international title.

Also part of the disc is Whistling Woods International’s student short film Dreaming Awake. A surreal look into paranoia and greed. The film portrays complex emotions with great conviction. This beautiful little gem is a must watch for anyone who warms up to good ol’ drama.

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WHERE THE TRUTH LIES

Director: Atom Egoyan
Cast: Kavin Bacon, Colin Firth, Alison Lohman, Kristin Adams
Shemaroo World Cinema



Watching Atom Egoyan’s attempt at film noir on DVD is like watching a visual spectacle through the glasses of an 80-year-old. It’s all a bit hazy. Where The Truth Lies is the story of two showbiz performers Vince Collins (Colin Firth) and Lanny Morris (Kevin Bacon), who are accused of murdering a young girl. As authorities are unable to produce substantial evidence, both Vince and Lanny aren’t prosecuted. A young journalist, Karen (Alison Lohman) decides to unravel the incident and unveil the truth.

The film is based on the high life of Los Angeles and its narrative starts in the ‘50s and goes up till the ‘70s. The cinematography is par excellence and director of photography Paul Sarossy can take a bow as his camera work has captured the stage performances and LA clubs in vivid detail. Visuals are similar to those seen in David Lynch’s Blue Velvet and David Fincher’s Se7en.

Alas, the quality of the disc lets down all that is good about this movie. The disc has been encoded in a less-than-satisfactory manner which results in the visuals being reproduced at below-par quality. With no added features on the disc, it seems as if the disc was compiled in a hurry. Obtaining an alternate copy of this world cinema title might not be an easy task, so all the noir
fans out there will have to suffice with Shemaroo’s lack luster DVD.

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DEKH RE DEKH REVIEWS

Director: Rahat Kazmi
Cast: Gracey Singh, Vijay Raaz, Raghuveer Yadav and Siddarth Koirala
Release Date: 2009-07-17 08:00:00
Quick Take: Not even worth a dekko on cable



It's a village story. So people speak aavo-jaavo type Hindi (which is promptly forgotten by the middle of the movie, and they speak bambaiyya tapori language). Gracey Singh is the heroine of this village story, because only she is dressed as the village belle in ghagras and cholis, others dress in normal salwaar kameez and sarees. She has had a bad marriage and wants to run away from her life, so she recruits a sad sack (Siddarth Koirala) in spotless shirts. He's sad because he doesn't want to work with his dad in a kabadi (garbage recycling) shop (remarkably full of neat stacks of newspapers; very literate villagers, I say!). Sad sack and village belle ask the village politician to help. Village politician (Raghubeer Yadav) also has a sob story. the three ask village drunk/thief (Vijay Raaz in very bad Salman Tere Naam Khan hairstyle) to help. They plan to steal the ancient but very valuable Krishna idol and sell it to change their futures. If you survive their sob stories, you groan at what they steal: a baby Krishna idol which looks neither ancient nor valuable. It's just terrible to watch them escape bungling cops, take refuge in a scary haveli with an even scarier woman who too has a sob Bhootnath-like story. What ensues is worse. They try to double cross one another and all end up dead. You want to clap in relief but no... The film goes on and on and there's no saviour... Their village is picturesque, but everything else is just waste of film stock.

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LUCK REVIEWS

Director: Soham Shah
Cast: Mithun Chakraborty, Danny Denzongpa, Sanjay Dutt, Imran Khan, Shruti Haasan and Chitrashi Rawat
Release Date: 2009-07-24 08:00:00
Quick Take: Dont test your luck with this movie


BLINDFOLDED MEN pushing their luck running across tracks with the trains criss-crossing them is a heart-stopping beginning to an action movie. A determined but lucky Sanjay Dutt is the only survivor. Allan Amin is luckily the action director and he deserves kudos for this fantastic sequence. Action is then interrupted by an annoying voice explaining how luck is being put to the test and millions of dollars are being placed as bets. Sanjay Dutt plays lucky Moosa bhai who sends scout Danny Denzongpa (his tan is so fake, such bad make-up, it changes with every scene) to net lucky men and women to pit them against one another in a game of task-until death. A lucky copy of The Running Man or Intacto or The Condemned? Or plain ole TV show Fear Factor with a fight-to-the-finish clause thrown in? All three, because you are not so lucky as an audience.

A bunch of sundry odd characters are found (their eccentricities so forced, you are lucky to not puke): a fearless major from the army (Mithun Chakraborty), a lame camel racing shorty (Chitrashi Rawat with a lisp), Ayesha (Shruti Haasan a truly unlucky debut), Ravi Kissen (best actor of the sorry lot!) and Imran Khan (he tries so hard to look like action man, he ends up looking as though he‘s waiting for Minissha Lamba to come and Kidnap him from the situation). These lucky few are pitted with other random strangers in ‘tasks’ (very Big Brother show like). You don‘t need luck nor brains to figure out which of the chosen lucky ones are going to die falling off airplanes, eaten by sharks or by gunshots. Soham Shah is lucky the movie Four Rooms has been made, the flick-the-lighter scene can be lifted off easily and rejigged to show a gun being pointed at Danny‘s head instead of fingers being chopped off.

In the final fight, Samurai swords magically appear in the hero‘s hand and he is lucky to discover that his heart is located to his right side and the heroine is rescued from a super lucky speeding train that ploughs through petrol tanks and mines. The chemistry between the hero and heroine is damper than unlucky fireworks in the monsoon. Only Ravi Kissen seems to belong in this test your badass luck flick, and he shines! All other good-luck mascots have a usual conscience and do-gooder backgrounds. To top this golden pile of unlucky poo, the word ‘luck' appears painfully in every single dialogue in the movie (as in this review!).

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THE BROTHERS BLOOM REVIEW

Director: Rian Johnson
Cast: Adrien Brody,Mark Ruffalo, Rachel Weisz and Rinko Kikuchi
Release Date: 2009-07-17 08:00:00
Quick Take: A splendid con caper



WITH CHARACTER names like Bloom (Adrien Brody) and Bang Bang (Oscar-nominee for Babel, Rinko Kikuchi) you know you’re in for a weird ride. Orphans Bloom and his older brother Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) start off young as con ‘men’; Bloom is putty in his older brother’s scripts of deceit but is too timid to start living a ‘real’ life. But when things come to a head, they decide to pull one final con on an unsuspecting rich good-for-nothing lady called Penelope (Rachel Weisz).

The film has a very period feel about it though that’s just a gimmick really.
It almost has an arty feel mixed with some thrills and a bit of noir. Bang Bang’s silent portrayal of the boys’ Girl Friday who likes blowing things up is a treat to watch. The plot twists are exceptionally well-crafted and con you too. Writer/director Rian Johnson’s script is delightfully etched out but you may get a tad lost in the elaborate use of words. All the performances are refreshingly convincing and comically imaginative.

The Brothers Bloom is for a discerning audience who like their capers fun, exhilarating and warm. There’s a hint of inspiration from the ’80s comedy Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, which also involved a pair of con men (the brilliant Steve Martin and Michael Cane) and a ditsy socialite (Glenne Headly).

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HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE REVIEW

Director: David Yates
Cast: Daniel Radcliffe ,Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Tom Felton, Michael Gambon, Jim Broadbent, Helena Bonham-Carter and Alan Rickman
Release Date: 2009-07-16 08:00:00
Quick Take: Full-blooded fantasy



IN THE Half-Blood Prince, the kids have all grown up and one could think of calling the franchise Horny Potter instead after watching puberty set firmly in these hot-blooded magicians. They’re making out in the corridors of Hogwarts and snogging over a pint of Butter Beer at the local inn now. Gives the term ‘raise your wand’ a whole different meaning.

The darkness that pervaded The Order Of The Phoenix continues in this one, though the fear factor has been scaled down a bit. Hogwarts and Dumbledore have barricaded themselves up as protection against an attack from Lord Voldermort’s evil Death Eaters. Draco Malfoy skulks around Hogwarts presumably in a plot to assist the dark side. Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) and Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) are… well… busy sorting out some mixed up love triangles and all this leads to some fun rom-com moments.

The acting has improved and so have the special effects and direction. It isn’t for kiddies anymore. It’s serious, adult and extremely dark. Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange doesn’t have much to do but Alan Rickman’s Severus Snape’s scathing wit has been given a chance to sizzle a bit more, thankfully. Fans of the series will also shed a tear for the death of a dear character in this movie.

The Half-Blood Prince is sufficiently entertaining but it does give you the feeling that we’re biding time here before the final battle between good and evil erupts in the next two films (the last book by JK Rowling, The Deathly Hallows, will be split into two for the big screen).

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AGYAAT REVIEW

Director: Ram Gopal Varma
Cast: Nitin Reddy, Priyanka Kothari, Gautam Rode, Joy Fernandes, Rasika Duggal, Ishteyak Khan, Ishrat Ali, Ravi Kale, Howard Rosemeyer and Kali Prasad Mukerjee
Release Date: 2009-08-07 08:00:00
Quick Take: Agyaat is eminently forgettable, pointless nonsense


Ten people of a film unit land themselves in Sigiriya Forest in Sri Lanka and eight of them get killed by something unknown. It would have been unfair to tell the story in one line had this been a horror film. But Agyaat is an insult to all those who enjoy getting spooked at movies. Let's not even dignify the film by comparing it to The Predator or The Blair Witch Project. Let‘s just look at what the film is: a two hour long unashamed trailer for Agyaat part 2.

Why each of the ten people have to be strange we do not know, but they are. That‘s the reason why we don‘t care when they die. One has an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips at all times, another chews on a pencil. The heroine goes traipsing in the jungle wearing a tennis skirt, and jogs in white boots. Her workout routine is the funniest thing one has seen in cinema. Not one but two guys make strange guttural sounds. Yes, they all pass the grade when it comes to the saucer-eyed scared look, but when they are all goggle-eyed in one frame, it is not horror, it is unintentionally comical. Let's not get into logic at all and ask how and where the cine equipment and all those dancers showed up in the remote jungle. Let‘s not ask why nobody bothered to find out how one removes leaches from the body. Just pray that they did not leave the beautiful Sri Lankan forest in shambles.

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TEREE SANG REVIEW

Director: Satish Kaushik
Cast: Ruslaan Mumtaz, Sheena Shahabadi, Satish Kaushik, Rajat Kapoor, Neena Gupta and Sushmita Mukerjee
Release Date: 2009-08-07 08:00:00
Quick Take: Teree Sang should not have been made


This is the most irresponsible cinema ever. It‘s based on the logic that if nature (kudrat) allows a girl to conceive when she is 14 years old, the law is an ass if it says underage sex is illegal and a punishable offence. So Maahi (Sheena Shahabadi, Deepika Padukone hangover) and Kuku (Ruslaan Mumtaz, sub-zero acting skills) celebrate New Year‘s by drinking champagne, watching fireworks, experimenting with a kiss and then conceiving. Kuku‘s friends help the two run away to an idyllic, remote house in the hills where they can play house-house (how convenient!). Rajat Kapoor and Neena Gupta are rich absent parents of the girl, Satish Kaushik and Sushmita Mukerjee are the not so well-off but indulgent parents of the boy. Characters as old as Bobby! Instead of dealing with the grim results of real life teenage pregnancy, the film makes a case for underage parenting because the kids love each other and the boy looks after the girl (cho chweet!). And the nails in the coffin are the scenes where we see Satish Kaushik in his undies and his wife jokes about his undone fly. Enough said

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DIL BOLE HADIPPA! REVIEW

Well, the name of the film is Dil Bole Hadippa! with the image of a Sikh’s pagdi dotting the ‘I’ in Hadippa. That should be a good enough warning to the listener that the music is going to overdose in Punjabi. Keeping the Punjabi hip-hop numbers aside, a ear that is not tuned to the language may miss out on the essence of this album, given that the lyrics aren’t easy to comprehend either.

Discowale khisko is likely to catch the listeners’ fancy as it aims to stir national pride with lyrics like, “Bhangra pane aye, angrez nirale, jean valaitee paa li, pairon mein taale…” The sound is a fusion of electronic and bhangra beats. Taking off on a soft note is Ishq hi hai rab, the quintessential love ballad delivered in the vocals of Sonu Niigaam and Shreya Ghoshal. The visuals of Bhangra bistar are something to look forward to as Rani Mukerji plays the boy who is romanced by none other than Rakhi Sawant. Of course, there are Rakhi-ish lyrics too, “Aagaye ji Punjab ke sher with bhangra bistar beer bater.” We’ll have to line up for desi gyms to check the popularity of Gym shim but we have serious doubts. We're not sure gym-goers are going to be inspired when someone belts out lyrics that combine Hindi counts with exercise instructions, “one two teen chaar, parey maar jeet haar, what you doing I liking.”

The title track Hadippa and its remix seem like the only songs that might strike a chord with the youth. Don't be surprised to hear them do rounds of nightclubs.

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WANTED REVIEW

No wonder this guy is 'wanted'. He's under the illusion that the girl loves him because “Your mama says you love me, my abba says you love me.” And the rest of Love me love me lists the different people who want this love to blossom. Anyone interested? Ishq vishq is an exercise for the vocal chords and tests how long one can go uh oh uh oh to the melody. It‘s truly hilarious, especially with the phrase 'all night' thrown in. Dil leke accuses the lover of not only stealing the heart but also the life, “Tum jaan jaan keh ke meri, jaan le gaye.” Definitely, a lesson for those who address their lovers as sweetheart, jaan and the like. Le le mazaa le beats all the other songs at being different as it is sung in Sinhalese and might accompany the baila, a Sri Lankan form of dance. Jalwa is a dance rap number and promises to display Salman Khan's powerful dance moves and energetic performance or simply put, jalwa. Tose pyar karte hai is another promise of love on the part of the hero. It's interesting though, as it has a flavour of tapori music and dance, a treat for folk people. The most wanted track is actually a medley of dialogue, the voice of Salman Khan mixed with some heavy duty electronic beats. What follows is a remix of all the above mentioned tracks.

And this time, the CD is in sync with mobile technology as the listings have a column dedicated to the ringtone codes. Well, those should be easy to listen to, given the short length.

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Shadow Review

Director: Rohit Nayyar
Cast: Naseer Khan, Milind Soman, Sonali Kulkarni and Hrishita Bhatt
Release Date: 2009-08-21 08:00:00
Quick Take: The worst movie to date



You know you are in for a bad time when the USP of the movie is a blind actor who has done all the stunts himself. Shadow is about a contract killer, Naseer Khan, who quickly makes it to the most wanted list by murdering affluent personalities. But the police have no clue who they are dealing with since they have no information about the man.

Prepare yourself for a visual assault from the first frame of the movie, as the only thing decent about it is the budget. Naseer, who is also the writer and producer of the movie, has a long way to go before he should actually venture into the movies again. Although the plot is well defined, the screenplay and dialogue are amateurish, inadvertently making you laugh at the physically impaired man. The sloppy filmmaking tecniques make it hard to believe this is Rohit Nayyar’s fifth effort at direction. The rest of the cast is also unconvincing.

Milind Soman fails to hold your attention and Sonali Kulkarni lacks the intensity of a fearless cop who will go to any length to catch the crook. And such a cop falling for a criminal is implausible. Hrishitaa Bhatt is reduced to just eye candy.
Pity that the USP is used to label this movie as a ‘brave effort’. Unfortunately, it ends up being a pathetic joke, a sad reminder of what our cinema has become. It‘s disappointing that such substandard cinema is made today. The only ones to lose in such a game is the audience.

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LIFE PARTNER REVIEW

Director: Rumi Jaffery
Cast: Govinda, Fardeen Khan, Tusshar Kapoor, Genelia D'Souza. Prachi Desai, Anupam Kher and Darshan Zariwala
Release Date: 2009-09-14 08:00:00
Quick Take: Fun, only with ear plugs



Considering how everyone shouts out their dialogue in this movie, you‘d think microphones had not been invented! Govinda is a loud (clotheswise and dialogue-deliverywise) divorce lawyer and although he is shown to be a blonde babe magnet, he believes in loving ‘em and leaving ‘em. He has two friends: one who has a steady girlfriend and the other who is single and saving himself for his wife. Govinda plays Narad Muni in the lives of his friends and pushes them into getting a divorce. Genelia D‘Souza plays the steady gal to Fardeen. She is close to brilliant when portraying a demanding, spoilt, rich girl who plays at being a painter, a singer, an interior decorator et al. Her clothes are fabulous and she has some of the funniest lines in the movie. She burns her apartment down trying to work the washing machine and she yells at her husband, ‘You don‘t ever appreciate my efforts!’

When you are not smiling at the demands Genelia makes of Fardeen and horrified when he fulfils them, you are grinning at the virginal Tusshar Kapoor who excels at playing the coy Gujju boy who is saving himself for his wife. He probably has the best comic timing in the movies today. Prachi Desai is forgettable as his good little wife. The movie has been written to elicit laughs from the audience and attempts to make a comment on the social situation of non- resident Indians. Darshan Zariwala plays the controlling dad of a Gujarati family (Tusshar‘s dad), and his unreasonable demands on his family (sons should be obedient, women of the family should be seen and not heard and so on) wipe away his gentle Gandhiji image.

The story runs out of steam however when Amrita Arora shows up as an item number (she seriously needs help!) who turns Govinda‘s pathetic life around. This silly extension robs the film of all the fun. Just take ear plugs if you wish to see it in the theatre

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